I had gone on vacation, to one of my favorite places on this earth, a place where I felt safe, I felt completely myself…I had 2 weeks..for fun, for laughter, for relaxation and enjoyment…I had my family there, I had close friends who are like family…we had it all planned..fun in the sun. Happiness and enjoyment. Good times. And then you. You weasled your way into our group and mooched off of the generosity of my friends and family…don’t think for a second I didn’t spot you eying me up and down for 2 days. The eying I could deal with. That was not enough for you. You have children my age and older, you were rude, and pushy, but I never expected for you to do what you did to me. You waited like a sneak, like a predator feeling out his prey.You waited until one night I was alone and you put your arm around me and told me how gorgeous and beautiful I was, you came onto me so quickly and out of the blue, you told me you knew what I liked..clearly you knew absolutely nothing…you told me I was to “take care of your needs..I said no, and I wasn’t interested and you just pulled me in closer to your miserable body…you called me baby, even as I said no way! I was lucky enough to get away from you and get back to my family and friends…but will the next one be???? I had to tell everyone what happened to me at your hands because I feared for every woman and young boy in the community. I was so embarrassed by you, and what had happened…I felt cheap,dirty and easy…I asked myself in the mirror “what did I do or say to make him feel he could do this to me?!” I Blamed myself, felt like cheap common gutter trash! BECAUSE OF YOU! My fun filled vacation came to a screeching hault…because of you. I went out with my loved ones, tried to compose myself…still a nervous wreck that you’d come back, that you’d show your miserable face in our community again and would try it all over again…I couldn’t bare the thought of it…I felt I had to be with someone all the time to be safe while I was there…my father ran you out of there pretty darn quick…did he strike a nerve??? Is this a pattern? Had you done this to other innocent people?? I just thank God that you did not have the nerve and the Gaul to show your face in there again..and as I boarded that plane 2 weeks later for home, I realized I was blaming the wrong person…I was blaming myself, for no reason at all…I should have been blaming you right from the get go. You are a pig, always will be in my book…I take comfort in the fact I will never see you again! You did through your actions prove me one thing though…you proved to me that my father will always love and protect me no matter what and always keep me safe and be there to help me. You proved to me that those friends of mine are true,loyal, loving friends through and through and will have my back no matter what the case may be. No, you failed miserably at your vile crude attempts, but you did succeed in proving to me that you just made myself,my family, and my friends a whole hell of a lot stronger, and closer than ever…and for THAT I do thank you.
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“Never compare it. Everyone I’ve ever met tries to invalidate what happened to them by saying it was worse for someone else. What happened to you was real… What happened to you counts. Don’t belittle it.”- Anon., Support Zine- ed. Cindy Crabb