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Poetry

Survivor Poem: Untitled

By: v

you lay there,
with your heart ripped out,
beating on the floor,
still you wait for more.
hands on your shoulders
heavy,
like boulders.
a pain no one could know,
still,
you don’t go.
you open your mouth,
one swing
and its closed,
still you lay there,
and no one knows.
the pain you hide,
when he’s inside.
the tears you don’t cry,
flood your brain
and drown your heart,
you don’t even know,
how you ever let this start.
this twisted reality,
you call life,
lines are crossed,
boundaries blurred,
the very 1st time,
he put his hands down your skirt.
just when you’re about to shout,
he whispers,
looks at you,
just like that,
he’s out.
you pick up your shirt,
you pick up your heart,
look at the seams,
you can sow those together,
you’ve done it before,
this time you’ll do it better.
build a stronger wall.
still he gets in,
the hurt, is incredible.
you’d swallow them if you could,
but feelings aren’t edible.
you can’t handle this life,
still you hold on.
you scream inside,
and no one hears.
silly girl,
no one cares.
until it’s too late,
him they will love,
you,
they will hate.

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  • http://soulspeakout.org SoulSpeakOutElisha

    V, thank you for sharing this powerful piece with the community here. It is a difficult piece that encompasses the confusion tied to survivor guilt. You write “You don’t even know/how you ever let this start/this twisted reality/you call life”. This guilt, this feeling of shame and a belief that you somehow asked for the abuse you received is something many survivors struggle with. But it is always the fault of the perpetrator, nobody asks to be abused. It can be a confusing, convoluted situation when it comes to a violation or intimate partner violence, but nobody deserves to be abused or controlled. Again, beautifully written poem. Thank you for sharing.

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