May 23rd 2010. I was sexually assaulted.
I was 16 and I went to a party at my best friend house. I had never been there before. I knew almost everyone there. It was a good time. I thought it was weird that he parents were there at the party drinking and smoking weed with the kids. My friend’s father kept offering me more weed and alcohol. I drank more then I could handle. It was late and most of the people at the party had passed out already when my friends father lead me to an empty room for me to sleep in. In no time I had passed out. I’m not sure how long it was but I was woken up by the opening of the door. But I was so out of it I couldn’t even make my head turn to see who it was. I slowly began to lose my conciseness again when I felt him beside me. I didn’t know who it was or what he was doing. Then I felt him reach down my shirt and into my bra. He was feeling my breasts. I felt him kiss my on the lips. I’ll never forget the feeling of his facial hair on my face. That’s when I knew it was my friend’s father. After a while he got up and left. I was fighting to stay conscience. Then he returned shortly after. He began to feel my breasts again. Only this time he also proceeded to suck on them as well. I was so out of it. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t stop him. He slowly began to move his hands down my pants. At first he was just touching, and then he inserted his fingers. After awhile he pulled down my pants completely. He kept fingering me for a while then his used his tongue. The next thing he did was pull down his pants. He crawled over top of me. Still to out of it to defend myself, to scared to yell and losing the fight to stay conscience I couldn’t stop him. He put his penis into my mouth. He began sliding it up and down, ramming it into the back of my throat. I felt so sick. When he was done with me, he kissed me one last time. And whispered in my ear, “I like you.” And “sleep well”
These memories have taken a long to sort out and there are still some that I’m unsure of. I remember pain. A lot of pain. I do not know for sure it I was raped. I know that worse things could have happened. I could have been injured more then just soreness. It seems petty compared to some thing I’ve heard but this event has completely taken over my life. It’s with my everywhere I go. And I have lost all trust with men who are older. Even the ones I have known all my life. It’s in my dreams and everything I do.
I felt like I needed to share it publicly. Even if its anonymous. Its still out there. People will still know something like that happened to a defenseless 16 year old girl.